A Bowl of Football

After being here for almost 9 years I finally come to term with the American sport football.
The sport that hijacked it's name from the "real" football the rest of the world cherish and love.
My husband is a big football fan, not the NFL so much but College.
So these football bowls that is played every night now for a week straight is closely watched by hubby on our new 47 inch flat screen.
We rarely fight, my husband and I, but if I criticize the sport or it's rules a big fight is at hand that can make him not talk to me in hours.

Here's my complaints about football.

1. The name, first, the name is already taken, by a sport that really use their feet and a ball.

2. Tough, strong men play 15 games per season, every game consisting of about 15 minutes of playtime, the rest is walking around waiting for instructions on what to do next from their coach. And they claim this is the toughest sport in the world... ehhh!?

3. Time, I still haven't really understood the rule for the time clock. Sometimes they keep playing after the clock has past full time, and sometime even though there's a minute left to play they just stop and call it the game... ehhh!?

4. The silly yellow napkin that's thrown at the players when they do something wrong, what's wrong with a whistle or a flag or something more manly?

5. The only player in the team that does what the sport got it's name from, namely kicking the ball, he usually sucks at it. On High School level they even sometimes go so far that they don't kick the ball at all, because no one's good enough at it.... ehhh?

6. The need for the players to have a constant reminder from their coach what to do before each play, I use to think that Basketball players might have the shortest memory of all athletes since they have to take a timeout every 10 seconds, but after learning about the quarterback's need for coaching before every play makes me think that football players might have a even shorter attention span.

Even Forrest Gump knew what to do with the ball. Pick it up and run as fast as you can, try to avoid any of the other team's morbidly obese defense men and run it over the last line, that's called a touch down. Touch downs give you points, if you at the end of the game have more points than the other guys, you win!

Imagine if a hockey player (that I consider being one of the toughest athletes out there) had to get the coach's direction before every face off?
Imagine if they played 15 games in a regular season instead of 82?
Imagine that the 60 minutes of playtime for each game was cut up with a 20 seconds before each face off where the clock kept running.
Imagine them stop playing with more than a minute left of the game or keep on playing after the time was up?

Please don't tell my hubby that I wrote this, he won't talk to me in weeks....